Editorial: The Greatest Insult

Vicky Vixen in her controversial role as Eliza Doolittle in the 2008 MUNY production of My Fair Lady.

Contributed by Professor Fawkes Foxington,  Human

Without any doubt, the most rewarding part of moving to St. Louis from my ancestral home in Fox City has been my deepening involvement with the Forest Park Fox Hunt. Living in this city has many benefits. But the opportunity to observe the members of this Hunt, explore your lodge, and discuss with you your theories and strategies for hunting foxes has been the most entertaining and, dare I say, amusing part of my move. Continue reading

Letter to the Editor: A Heartfelt Welcome

Sirs,

Do you feel a tingle up your leg when you look at this man?

It is high time that we the members of the Forest Park Fox Hunt take a moment to recognize the singular contributions and warm fellowship brought to the Hunt by our newest member: Professor Fawkes Foxington. I know there was some skepticism when Prof. Foxington first applied to join our ancient order. Continue reading

Classifieds: Location, location, location!

Another soul-sucking St. Louis commute.

REAL ESTATE: As many members of the Hunt are aware, my estate provided much of the financing for the recent macadaming of Highway 40. In return for my generosity, the governor provided me with certain considerations, including title to some sections of the refurbished thoroughfare.

I am exercising my rights to this land and soliciting bids for the middle traffic lane of Highway 40 between the Hanley and Laclede Station Road overpasses. This lane has not been zoned, and so I assume it is available for any type of use. I am advised by the Missouri Transportation Department that this stretch of the highway plays host to tens of thousands of travelers per day, making this lane an excellent location for a haberdashery, apothecary, or any other sort of retail shop that relies on a high volume of passers-by. I would note, however, that the newness of the pavement may make tearing-up infeasible, and therefore agricultural use is not advised. Will build to suit.

Doctor Meriweather Southwark

Gossip: Lady Aubergine is a Dollymop

Contributed by The Widow Eudora Limehouse

Eudora Limehouse: Telling it like it is.

Eudora Limehouse: Telling it like it is.

My dear readers, today is a day for you to rejoice, celebrate and swoon, because today I launch the official Forest Park Fox Hunt gossip column. In my new column, “You Should Be Ashamed, featuring Eudora Limehouse,” I will dutifully report all of the scandal and scuttlebutt that was heretofore only being shouted over my back-yard fence. Continue reading

Classifieds: Brave Men Required For Deadly Expedition

Inari Statue

Warning to the Successful Applicant: This May Be the Last Thing You Ever See

HELP WANTED: Opportunity available for brave, sturdy men. I am leading an armed expedition to the Orient to locate and, if possible, slay the Japanese Fox God Inari. My research indicates that this ancient deity resides in the imperial capital of Kyoto, in the labyrinthine warrens tunneled deep beneath Mount Inari. I have reason to believe that the unnatural degree of sophistication and tool-use displayed by our Forest Park foxes may have its roots in supernatural influence, and that the destruction of this crafty Shinto spirit will, finally, provide our Hunt with the upper hand against our vulpine foe. I cannot guarantee survival, so men without dependents are preferred.

Commodore Percy Houndsfarthing

Hunt of the Month for January, 2010

World's Fair Pavilion with Fox at Base of Hill

The Thrill of the Hunt!

This month’s premier hunt was, by unanimous agreement, the January 16th hunt held in honor of Commodore Houndsfarthing’s sapphire anniversary as a hunt member.

As members will recall, Commodore Houndsfarthing lost his sight in the notoriously ill-fated November 14th, 1952, hunt that also resulted in destruction (by foxes) of our steam-powered fox gin, and he is therefore unable to fully participate in most hunts. On this day, however, Houndsfarthing was able to see vicariously through the assistance of his manservant Stanwick, who hoisted Houndsfarthing on his shoulders and served as his sturdy mount for the duration of the hunt. Continue reading

Alert on Faux Domestics

Contributed by Earl Lesley Whitechapel

A fox disguised as a domestic servant

A photographic representation of a human maid

Forest Park Fox Hunt members are advised that there are increasing reports of foxes disguised as humans attempting to join the household staff of Hunt members for purposes unknown.

The Widow Eudora Limehouse has reported that a respondent to her job posting for personal secretary, although competent in bookkeeping and stenography, was unaccountably evasive when asked about her ancestry. Upon being pressed on the matter (Widow Limehouse will not hire twins, and was attempting to determine the applicant’s status in this regard) the applicant tore off her hat and revealed herself to be a mature vixen. She uttered a epithet which we will not repeat here, went on all fours, and bounded out the window as the Widow attempted to retrieve a fowling piece from the mantle.

Col. Archibald Swiddlesworth has some experience in these matters, and he recommends that when interviewing potential staff, Hunt members perform the following test:

Show the applicant into a windowless room, and instruct them to be seated. Then, release a live chicken into the room and lock the door. Wait several days, and open the door. If the applicant has killed and devoured the chicken, he or she may be a fox. Further investigation can be carried out by inspecting the face for red fur, and the hands to determine if they are hands, or paws.